One aspect of Shabbat that fascinates me is not writing. I have written about four times my own body weight in spiral notebooks over the years. Everyday, whether I ever go back to it or not I take notes, I record quotes, I write down words I don't know. I have done so for twenty years.
On Shabbat, when my soul is at peace, I am often inspired or have people share interesting thoughts with me. So it is frustrating not to set them down on paper.
My strategy is I hide my pens!!
Thinking about this though, I believe that everyone probably has certain mitzvot that are easier and harder to observe for themselves than others. What does this imply?
It would be easy to assume that the greater the sacrifice the more holiness, but the corollary is more interesting. Those mitzvot that we observe easily need to be examined more closely.
The way of Torah is not about checking off compliance. It is about the quickening of the soul when it embraces its purpose and the Light G*d has invested into the world. Not for himself has the Torah been given to man but for the sake of man.
The idea that our good deeds manifest in other worlds ennobles man and allows the imagination to be a means to open the heart to holiness. Yet when we join G*d in his work of creation, justice, and goodness we are still not filling a need of G*d but a design. The distinction is only that we need G*d, we need purpose and categorically not the other way around. Yet, we are given the Torah which teaches us about life, about G*d, and about justice.
It is incomparable.
It maybe hard to see that G*d's mercy ultimately gives everything meaning but it is obvious that without him there could be no meaning. Man can put meaning into things. We suffer so much because of this. All heart break occurs when we can't maintain the value we put into a relationship. All war occurs when we can not agree on the value of truth and use blood and might to decide it.
Perhaps, if we examine not just those commandments we have trouble with, but those for which observance comes readily to us, we can grow in spirit.
I believe that we can not be constantly conscious of holiness, but that we can expand our capacity through our thoughtful dedication. Simplicity will follow!!
Take time everyday to pray for those who are suffering and those who believe there is no meaning.
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another issue:
Study has opened me to the idea that human suffering is tied to our purpose, that it is necessary and meaningful that we struggle. I believe we are doing the 'great work.' We are the clay hardening in kiln, the steel under the blacksmith's hammer. This energy and motion is why creation isn't static. Our being is at once a object instance of G*d's total being and our response to creation. Our ability to sanctify and act with lovingkindess expresses the Emunah.
