This is a creative reflection in the form of a poem based on psalms 11-17.
I have freely thrown in my own thoughts and other lines from my studies with
only a desire to feel close to G*d.
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Upon my mind "rains coals, fire, brimstone, and a burning wind"
In my visions I am hunted through the wilderness of my heart.
"How shall I tell my soul, Flee thou to your mountain ye birds!"
Yet this is not my portion and I drink only from the cup of Torah.
My mind is the most pathetic aspect of me it cannot see.
The L*rd being righteous loves the righteous and is their refuge.
Under his throne is highest heaven that quickens the world with purpose.
All that is built and every foundation maybe destroyed save that refuge.
All that is made and each moment exists only for the L*rd,
Every string is snapped and I feel that I have failed.
I no longer hear anyone else singing, and no hands soothe me.
I never spoke falsely or flattered, never was unfaithful.
In my pride I destroyed myself and in a night was cut off from love, exiled to isolation.
Set me in safety Oh L*rd whose word is pure
let this suffering refine me, let nothing be unaccounted.
Even the righteous may ask why justice is hidden and feel forgotten by grace but
the L*rd is never hidden only unseen
Our lives fly by and then they seem interminable but in every instant all that exists is established by G*d and the world even in the worst horror is not absent of good.
Good prevails though it destroys nations, hopes, and dreams
for it preserves what is most good and yet that may never be known
We ask how long, we ask to be answered, we ask for light in our eyes yet
to G*d there is no time, no questions, and no darkness.
In thy mercy do I trust, thy bounty never failing the faithful, thy severity tempers my soul. I would not escape this loneliness by reversing one judgment you have made.
I will not beg those exalted over me, those who have abandoned me
The L*rd cannot forget for all is present unto the holy king.
Every empty space, even in the heart, is full of his glory.
Corruption and Abomination among men can turn the heart away from Seeking G*d
Our judgment is our creation and it may become a prison of the spirit.
Yet the light is never absent if we have understanding and do not presume
Thank G*d for your portion for the food he has brought forth from the earth
You must recognize it is all G*d's or you will come to exploit others
Call upon the L*rd do not be satisfied with your righteousness but work for the righteousness of your generation.
Do not trample the poor to dust, do not humiliate others or exalt over them
Not on our merit but only in G*d do we have meaning and purpose.
Make your mind a sanctuary for praise of G*d, In G*d's sanctity all can be purified.
Just as in the desert of Sin, just as in the Temple, just in the decree of Cyrus ending the book of Chronicles
You are free from all captivity when you make of yourself nothing more precious than to be his people
Let Yaakov rejoice, Let Israel be glad, The L*rd reigns in Zion from everlasting to everlasting.
The holy mountain, the tabernacle both have eternal 'souls'
even if they are not present to us they represent G*d's absolute immutable presence in his creation.
We must walk, work, and speak so that the upright, the righteous, and truth may define our hearts, our very lives.
No reproach, No slander, no evil should be between us or within us.
A vile person is despised but only if they do not change, if they do not fear the L*rd then they hurt themselves by swearing, usury, and bribery against the innocent.
We are to be moved, to change but these actions diminish our compassion and increase the evil that stands between people.
That which we gain, the falsehoods we create, and those we wrong stop the unity of man and therefore make understanding of what unity signifies about G*d seem unreal.
PRIDE IS GLORY IN OURSELF NOT IN G*D. It is the root of all iniquity that I know of.
Pride can strike anyone down from any height. Pride is the opposite of fear of the L*rd. By fear we mean awe in its most moving sense.
In the holy one I have taken refuge there is no good but in thee.
I speak to the L*rd with a mind that will not rest but his care soothes me.
The greatest beauty I have every known is in these psalms. I would that my
life was worth one of them, how much holiness have they brought to Earth?
The L*rd of Life sustains us and invests in us a destiny that is ours to fulfill or fail.
Anything we set before the L*rd in our hearts is an idol that passes away
Our lives will yield nothing more precious than that same inheritance of the covenant.
Offer only to the L*rd and know his name is holy, that there is no other.
Make this thy heritage and let it flow in your veins like royal blood.
Let those that put G*d and his commandments first be your counsel, bless the L*rd of wisdom.
Instruct yourself in the ways of the righteous so you will not be lost in the night.
Set the L*rd always before you, in all that you strive for be humble and pious.
The L*rd is the only safety, his work is firmly established
All may abandon you and all maybe lost, indeed you will surely die but
in G*d's presence is the soul at peace, the fullness of man is in that joy
What we call eternity is the slightest shadow of divinity
I will suffer for the law but I will never doubt again.